Why couldn’t she help herself?
She is a quiet-looking girl. Through the appointment book, I learned that her name is Xiaowen and she is a sophomore.
She sat down opposite me with her head down. At the beginning, she was very cautious. I smiled and said to her, “Isn’t there any scruples about the teacher?
She raised her head with tears in her eyes and choked, “No, it was something I didn’t see.”
“Then she lifted her sleeves and let me see. I was stunned. Her vastness was full of scars. The scars were clearly cut, with old wounds and new wounds, dense and dense.
“It’s .” she said in my retina.
She began to talk about the pain she has been suppressing in her heart for so many years: My parents were intellectuals, and my childhood was very happy in my memory. They all like me so much, basically they can help me with any wish.I go to achieve.
At that time, our family was not very good. I remember one time when I saw a kid who bought a good-looking toy. I called and asked my parents to buy it for me, but that toy was too expensive. My father told meAnd said, “Will you buy it in two days?
“I didn’t agree, crying and making noise all day, and finally my parents compromised.
In short, it seems that the whole family is turning around me. At that time, I felt very happy and satisfied, although sometimes I saw the helpless eyes of my parents.
But it doesn’t seem to be long. When I go to junior high school, my parents will have a lot of restrictions on me, such as when should I sleep, when should I get up, and when should I study . I’m bothered and annoyed all dayIt was terrible, so I talked back to them, and my parents were very angry because I quarreled with them.
On one occasion, my father actually hit me. This was never before. I seemed desperate at the time and felt that I didn’t need to stay in this home anymore.
I slipped a book I was holding in my father’s body, and then ran out of the house.
I was walking on the street while crying. Everyone on the street looked at me with a strange look, but no one came forward to ask me, and I thought: Why are my parents so bad to me?
Why are people now so cold?
Why no one in this world can really understand me and care about me?
The more I felt sad, the more disappointed I was, I don’t know when, I found that a bloodmark had been cut out by my right finger at the top left.
But at the time, I didn’t feel a little pain, but I felt a sense of pleasure, which seemed very comfortable.
Later, my parents found me, but since then, my personality has changed a lot. I no longer like to associate with others. I am very depressed every day. I feel like I have pressed a big rock, but what is going on, this bigWhat exactly is a stone, I don’t know for myself, maybe I hope someone can understand it?
In this way, I became more and more lonely. My classmates also noticed my changes. Someone even gave me a nickname and called me “Lone Woman”. I was so angry at that time, but what can I do, everyoneI think so.
When I got home, my parents only asked me to study, and the more I wanted to get more angry, when I was studying, I picked up the knife on the table and scratched on my wrist, watching a blood stain come out. I even laughed, and laughed.Tears.
I know my heart is crying and crying: “How can this world treat me like this?
“Since then, whenever I have a bad heart, I cut my wrist with a knife, as if only by doing so, can I vent my resentment and my dissatisfaction.
I quarreled with my parents the day before yesterday, because they found that my grades had plummeted, and said that I was not upset, that it was more than a year since the college entrance examination, and it was not long, why did n’t you know how to work hard?
At that time, I was extremely furious and thought, “You only know my grades. Can’t I talk about anything other than my grades?
You are not worthy of being my parents!
“My parents were there, and at a loss, I ran into my room in tears.
I started to scratch my wrist again with a knife. At that time my parents were knocking on the door outside. I didn’t open it. They were in a hurry, somehow, opened the door and found that I was bleeding all over. They were frightened.My father picked me up and ran out. The doctor at the hospital briefly bandaged and then came back.
Yesterday I didn’t come to class all day. My father gave me a leave to say I was ill. I saw me at home yesterday.
I thought: I won’t die, I just think it feels good to do that.
But now I feel heavier and more annoying!
I can’t even listen to class today.
When she said this, she took a breath and seemed to relax a lot.
Then he looked at me and said, “Teacher, I know I’m not normal, and I have a mental problem. That’s why I came to you. I hope you can help me!
“I told her, I can certainly help her and tell her that everyone will encounter such problems in their growth. If there is no problem, it will not be called growth, because when there is a problem, they will find a way to solve it.Before I grow up.
Therefore, she is not abnormal, just because of some reasons, which caused the problem now.
I told her to go back and think about what caused her to behave now, and I reminded her to consider both subjectively and objectively. In fact, after listening to her experience, I have basically figured out that the reason why she had self-harm behavior was because her parents’ love for her as a child gave her a changed self-centered advantage. When she entered junior high school, herThis kind of mentality was not satisfied, and the parents shifted from caring about her life to caring about her studies.
Moreover, she has gradually entered the period of psychological weaning, and urgently needs parents to pay great attention to her psychological needs, but in fact, the behavior of the parents just deviated from her wishes, making her more and more unable to realize.
Coupled with unsatisfactory academic performance, she cannot be sure and accept herself. This psychological imbalance has no place to vent, but she is anxious to vent. In this way, the only object she can find is herself, and every time she hurts her,Temporary relief, but then returned to an imbalance, even more severe than before.
It should be said that such a vicious circle is not resolved in time, which will lead to a great substitution effect in future development.
The next day, she arrived as promised. I and her analyzed the reasons for this behavior, so that she understood the inevitability of this behavior objectively, and the universality of the classmates who now have this possibility.She accepted herself and lifted her negative perceptions.
Of course, I also told her that the consequences of doing so will affect her smooth growth and enhance her motivation and confidence in solving problems.
I told her that no matter what difficulties and problems you encounter, it ‘s only you who can really help yourself. Do n’t expect others to help you fundamentally solve it, and every time the problem is in front of us, it will actually be better.To choose the right method, you will receive better results, and it will not help you to hurt yourself.
In addition, I usually participate in some extra-curricular activities, read more extra-curricular books, broaden my horizons, and broaden my mind, so that you will not feel depressed and the so-called troubles will not be called troubles.
Then I designed a plan for her to let her record her mental changes every day and refute negative cognitive cognition.
For example, “I hope that every classmate can pay attention to themselves today”, and this wish has not been fulfilled, refuting “one person cannot get everyone’s attention, because I don’t pay attention to everyone”.
Later, I reached out to her parents through her teacher, and at first they felt a little weird, thinking that she had received all the care she deserved.
I started with Xiaowen’s psychological needs and talked about how to cope with and meet her needs. They recognized and accepted my suggestions.
At the same time, I also communicated with her class teacher. I hope he can encourage classmates to pay more attention to Xiaowen.
Xiaowen really did what I said. Of course, there have been several self-harm behaviors later, but the number has become less and less. Every time she comes to the consultation, she takes out the bad confessions she has remembered to refute herself.知 的 内容。 Knowing content.
As her parents and classmates’ attitudes towards her gradually changed, her mood became better and better.
After about half a year, she completely completely self-harmed.